Nine Surefire Gifts To Give As a Backhanded Compliment

Christmas is officially less than two weeks away. Stop freaking out about those last-minute gifts, kids. We’ve got nine gifts, all to be found locally, that are just as much for you as they are for your intended recipient. And while it’s not a Peloton bike, these are sure to be equally appreciated and psychologically scarring.

Cantlay

9) For the slob that’s driving you nuts with all their crap-tastic clutter
Eliza Cantlay of Simplicana is known as one of the Midwest’s premier certified professional organizers. Sure, she’s pleasant and polite and all, but at the end of the day, her job is to ensure folks get unburied from all the stuff in their house. Bonus points—she often finds ways to recycle, upcycle, or donate junk instead of just tossing it. (And she’s nearly booked through January, so you know she’s good.)


8) For the person with the worst diet ever
Hello, New Year’s diet plan! It’s probably doubtful your intended giftee has heard of Pirate’s Bone Burgers in the Crossroads, huh? This place is vegan-tastic. Their entire menu is all plant-based, all the time. The crazy part? Your meat-eating manfriend won’t have a clue he’s eating vegan. Their fries are killer. Their sauces are spicy. What more do you want? (And we’re featuring them in January’s Wellness Issue of our magazine, so you know they’re good.) Gift cards available.


7) For the sugar-aholic/sweet fiend
Sugar is one of the most addictive sources on earth—right up there with black-tar heroin. Good thing we stumbled across the keto-friendly Three Bears Bakery in Olathe, which is famous for all their gluten-free, sugar-free pastries and sweets. If your better-half can’t stop craving cinnamon rolls, this place offers up a wide assortment of guilt-free goodies that won’t leave your bestie or boo any wiser. Heck, it’s practically health food. (And we may or may not have eaten their Eggnog Cake every day last week, so you know they’re good.) Find their tasty wares at the Lenexa Farmer’s Market or order direct.


6) For the bad hombre in your life with a bad ombre
Does your girlfriend have a six-tone hair color you won’t find in nature? Is your boyfriend’s bad bleach job driving you to the brink? We’ve discovered a local colourist. (Yes, with a “u”—so you know she’s good—or British—or both.) Mandy Coble at Muse Salon in Overland Park has fixed more than her share of “horrific highlights” and “god-awful dye jobs.” In fact, color repair is her claim to fame. (Just ask to see any of her before/after shots. Impressive.)


5) For the sad-sack/mad-moper in your life
Sometimes human need a celestial reboot. Good thing Angela Holmes of Spiritual Alchemy in Overland Park knows a thing or two about getting you back in cosmic alignment. Holmes is trained in energy work, everything from casting out bad spirits to ensuring chakras are aligned. If it all sounds very wu-wu, it’s because it is. If someone you know needs a boost of rejuvenating juju, she’s your gal. (And she’s spendy, so you know she’s good.)


4) For the co-worker you despise (and, yes, we hate them too)
This is more of a gift for yourself than your co-worker. Industrious Kansas City just opened up some glorious new digs on the Plaza. It’s by far the metro’s poshest co-working space. Choose from a dedicated desk in a locked, private office or flexible seating in their premium coworking space—either way your membership includes access to all the luxurious common areas shared amenities (breakfast! ultra-fast wi-fi! snacks! lounge!) Plus, you won’t have to see Karen from accounting on the daily, so you know it’s not just good—it’s great!


3) For that squabbling married couple who really need to call it quits
Sure, you could go with those lawyers who offer up their services on the radio every ten minutes, or you could reach out to the law offices of Mann, Tucker & Muir—who constantly get some of the highest customer ratings in the metro. Yes, they specialize in family law. Yes, they’ll help you file those much-needed divorce papers. And, if you’re a parent who hates your child’s spouse/worser half—well, this really is the gift that keeps on giving. (And they’re based in Leawood, so you know they’re good.) PS. We doubt they have gift cards, but it probably couldn’t hurt to ask.


2) For the hairy beast with back hair galore
If you’re into body hair, good on you. You deserve a medal. If your special man-friend has body hair that flaps in the breeze on the beach, may we suggest a trip to Associated Plastic Surgeons? They’ve got a fool-proof, hair removal Lumenis laser that will destroy those unwanted follicles so they’re never seen again. No fuss, no muss, no more clogged drains. And there’s zero downtime, so you know it’s good. Also located in Leawood—so double good!


1) For the person who keeps asking “Are we good? Is everything okay?”
Kansas City is blessed to have a nationally recognized medium in our midst. Steffany Barton of Angels Insight has her radio frequencies dialed into guardian angels, spirit guides, masters, teachers, and loved ones on the other side. If she can’t give you insight into 2020, you’re screwed. Want to know what the new year holds—relationship-wise or job-wise? She’ll be the first to tell you if your future is so bright, you gotta wear shades. (And she’s a prolific author too, so you know she’s good. Bonus points for—you guessed it—being located in Leawood.)

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